In this world, many people are filled with anger, complaints, and confusion about reality. They try to change the outside world, blaming society for its injustices, others for their unkindness, or fate for being unfair. However, if we look deeper, we will realize that the only thing we can truly change is ourselves. When an individual changes, the world changes accordingly; when everyone improves, society as a whole truly moves forward.
So, how can we live wisely? How can we minimize suffering and attain greater happiness? How can we navigate the complexities of the real world with ease?
Below, we outline several first principles of life that may provide guidance to those feeling lost.
1. The Only Thing You Can Change Is Yourself
Many people complain and get angry because they want to change the external world rather than themselves. However, true transformation always begins with the individual. When you change, the world changes. When you improve, the world improves. When you become stronger, the problems around you naturally resolve themselves.
Although we appear to be independent individuals, we are actually part of a whole. Just like the cells in a body, we seem separate, yet together we form a single living entity. The well-being of each individual determines the well-being of the collective. When each person improves, society naturally improves.
Instead of trying to change the world, start by becoming the change yourself. When your mindset, thinking, and actions shift positively, you will notice that your external environment transforms as well. The world resonates with your frequency—how you vibrate determines how the world responds.
2. What You Believe Is What Constrains You
All meanings in life are assigned by you—they do not exist inherently. There are no absolute rules, values, or meanings in this world; everything is a social construct collectively built by humans.
Yet, most people blindly accept the values imposed by society, such as:
- “Success = Making Money”
- “Happiness = Getting Married and Having Children”
- “Suffering is Necessary for Achievement”
However, if these beliefs do not bring you freedom but instead cause anxiety, suffering, and limitations, then they have become mental prisons. True freedom means choosing your beliefs, rather than being controlled by the beliefs imposed by society.
Ask yourself: Do you believe in something because you have truly thought it through, or because society has shaped and imposed that belief upon you?
You can redefine your beliefs at any time and assign new meaning to life. When you do this, you shift from passively accepting life to actively creating it.
3. There Is No Absolute Selflessness—Every Action Ultimately Fulfills the Self
Does absolute selflessness exist? If we examine it deeply, we will find that even the most selfless acts are ultimately about fulfilling an individual’s internal values.
- A hero who saves lives does so because they believe it is the “right” or “worthy” thing to do.
- A philanthropist who donates money does so because it brings them emotional fulfillment or helps create a better world.
- Parents who sacrifice for their children do so out of love or because they feel responsible.
Even acts of selflessness are forms of self-actualization. This does not mean they are insincere—it simply means that genuine kindness is not about forced sacrifice but about a choice that aligns with one’s inner values.
Understanding this prevents us from being manipulated by social moral obligations. Instead, we can make rational decisions to do what we truly find meaningful, rather than acting out of a sense of guilt or obligation. What appears to be compassion toward others is often, in reality, a way to set ourselves free.
4. Happiness Is a Subjective Experience—You Can Redefine It
Pain and happiness are not external gifts but rather interpretations of our experiences.
For example, take the experience of hunger—different perspectives lead to entirely different feelings:
- If you see it as torture, you will feel miserable.
- But if you view it as a process of bodily repair and detoxification, your experience will shift, and you might even feel energized.
You may not always be able to control external reality, but you can control how you interpret it.
Reality is chaotic and unpredictable; many things happen beyond your control. You cannot determine how the world treats you, but you can decide how you respond to the world.
- You cannot control others, but you can control your reactions.
- You cannot control your environment, but you can control how you adapt to it.
- You cannot choose the class you were born into, but you can decide how to shape your life from here.
When you shift your focus from “controlling the world” to “mastering yourself,” you will find that life becomes much lighter and easier.
5. All Relationships Are Transactions, All Emotions Are Feedback
All human relationships are fundamentally exchanges of value. Understanding this prevents unnecessary confusion and unrealistic expectations in relationships.
Similarly, all emotions are simply your internal feedback system reacting to the external world:
- Anger arises when your interests are threatened.
- Sadness arises when reality does not meet your expectations.
- Joy arises when you obtain something you perceive as important.
When you learn to interpret your emotions instead of being controlled by them, you take ownership of your psychological well-being.
6. The Purpose of Life Is Simply to Live
Many people spend their entire lives searching for the “meaning of life,” but the real answer is: Meaning is not discovered; it is created.
There is no single universal answer, and your life does not have to conform to anyone else’s expectations. Your only task is to find a way of living that makes you feel fulfilled and satisfied—then pursue it wholeheartedly.
7. Fear and Desire Drive Life—But True Freedom Lies in Transcending Them
Every human action is either driven by fear or desire. But when you transcend both, you achieve true freedom. You are no longer controlled by external stimuli—you become the master of your own life.
Conclusion: How to Live Wisely?
True wisdom is seeing reality clearly yet still choosing to live positively. It is transcending suffering while still loving life.
人生的第一性原理：如何智慧地生存，获得最大化的幸福
在这个世界上，许多人对现实充满愤怒、抱怨和困惑，他们试图改变外界，指责社会不公、他人不善、命运不济。但如果我们深入探究，就会发现，真正能改变的，从来都不是外界，而是自己。当个体改变，世界才会随之变化；当每个人都变得更好，社会整体才会真正向前。
那么，如何智慧地生存？如何尽可能减少痛苦，获得更多的幸福？如何让自己在现实世界中游刃有余？
我们归纳出以下几个人生的第一性原理，希望能为迷茫中的人提供一些启发。
1. 你能改变的，只有自己
很多人喜欢抱怨、愤怒，是因为他们想要改变外界，而不是改变自己。然而，真正的改变，始终来自个体自身。你变了，世界才会变；你变好了，世界就变好了；你强大了，身边的问题自然会解决。
我们表面上是独立的个体，实际上却是一个整体。就像身体的细胞，看似彼此分离，实则共同构成一个生命体。个体的健康决定了整体的健康，每个小我变好了，社会自然变好。
因此，与其试图改变世界，不如先让自己成为那个改变的起点。 当你的心态、思维和行为发生积极转变，你会发现，外界的环境也随之改变。世界只是你的频率的共振，你如何振动，世界如何回应。
2. 你所坚信的，正是束缚你的
所有的意义，都是你赋予的，而非客观存在的。这个世界并没有固有的规则、价值观或意义，一切只是人类共同构建的社会叙事。
然而，大多数人却盲目接受社会灌输的价值体系，比如：
- “成功 = 赚钱”
- “幸福 = 结婚生子”
- “吃苦才能收获”
但如果这些信念带给你的不是自由，而是焦虑、痛苦和限制，那它们就成为了你认知的牢笼。真正的自由，是你能选择自己的信念，而不是被社会设定的信念所控制。
思考： 你相信的东西，是你真正思考后认同的，还是被社会塑造、灌输的？
你可以随时重塑自己的信念，赋予生活新的意义。当你这样做时，你就从“被动接受”变成了“主动创造”。
3. 没有绝对的无私，所有行为的本质都是自我满足
世上是否存在绝对的无私？如果深入思考，我们会发现，即使是最无私的行为，其核心仍是个体在满足自己的价值观。
- 英雄救人，是因为他认为这样做是“正确的”或“值得的”。
- 慈善家捐款，是因为他从中获得了精神满足，或希望创造更好的世界。
- 父母牺牲自己养育孩子，是因为他们爱孩子，或者觉得这是他们的责任。
无私的形式，仍然是一种自我实现。真正的善良，不是强迫自己牺牲，而是源自内心的选择。
理解这一点后，我们就不会再被社会的道德绑架，而是用更理性的方式去做自己认为值得的事情，而不是因为“应该”或“被迫”而去做。看似慈悲别人，其实是放过自己。
4. 幸福是你的主观体验，你可以重新定义它
痛苦与幸福，从来不是外在给予的，而是你的认知和解释。
例如，同样是“饥饿”，不同的认知，会带来完全不同的体验：
- 如果你把它看成是一种折磨，它会让你难受。
- 但如果你认为这是身体修复的过程，是健康的重启，你的体验就会改变，甚至会感到充实。
外在现实无法完全由你掌控，但你可以掌控自己对它的解读方式。
现实是混乱的，不确定的，很多事情不以你的意志为转移。你无法决定世界如何对待你，但你可以决定如何回应世界。
- 你不能控制他人，但你可以控制自己的反应方式。
- 你不能控制外界环境，但你可以控制自己如何适应它。
- 你不能决定自己出生在哪个阶层，但你可以决定如何规划自己的生活。
当你把注意力从“控制世界”转移到“掌控自己”，你会发现，人生轻松了许多。
5. 所有关系都是交易，所有情绪都是反馈
人与人之间的所有关系，本质上都是价值交换。理解关系的本质，就不会再困惑，也不会有不切实际的期待。
同样，所有情绪，本质上都是你对外界的反馈机制。
- 愤怒 是因为你的利益受到了挑战。
- 失落 是因为现实和预期不符。
- 喜悦 是因为你得到了你认为重要的东西。
当你学会解读自己的情绪，而不是被它们控制，你就掌握了自己的心理主导权。
6. 活着就是人生意义本身
许多人终其一生都在寻找“人生的意义”，但真正的答案是：意义不是发现的，而是创造的。
世界没有一个标准答案，你的生活不需要符合任何人的期待。你唯一的任务，就是找到让自己感到充实和满足的活法，并全力以赴地活下去。
7. 恐惧和欲望是人生的核心驱动力，但真正的自由，是超越它们
人活着，要么被恐惧驱动，要么被欲望驱动。但当你超越这些恐惧和欲望，你就真正自由了。你不再被外界的刺激牵着走，而是成为了自己的主人。
结语：如何智慧地生存？
真正的智慧，是看透现实，但仍然积极地生活；超越痛苦，但仍然热爱人生。